As promised, I have an update on my situation.  We met with Dr. Wade Mueller today, the top neurosurgeon at Froedtert Hospital, and I could not be more pleased with the care I am going to receive.  He has loads of experience, has an incredible bedside manner, and his team is top notch.  He kept things simple;  There is indeed a brain tumor in my right frontal lobe, that does not light up on contrast which he concurs is favorable.  However, until it’s removed, there’s no way to confirm what it is exactly.  He told me that for now, he will be keeping things simple.  Brain tumors, the pathology of the tumors, the treatment etc is complex.  He mentioned that it’s best to let go of any ideas of what I’d like it to be and just deal with it as it comes, and I’m ok with that.   He told me that my positive attitude, faith and strength are all in my favor, and I agree.

I will require some additional testing prior to surgery.  Next up is a functional MRI.  This will be an MRI where I am tasked with various questions and duties, in an effort to map out my brain.  Unfortunately, one cannot be sedated during this procedure, and I lean a bit towards claustrophobia.  Please pray for me, that I’m able to remain calm through the procedure.  It really is just mind over matter, and honestly….I’m pretty confident I can get this done.  Because this is a specialized MRI, it takes a while for the radiologists to read it.  I will meet with the surgeon again after that, and will also be meeting with a neuropsychologist who will be putting me through a rigorous series of cognitive tests.  Again, the effort is to determine my level of functioning today.   Dr. Mueller made it very clear, that he and I are on the same page;  I like who I am and want to be the same person when this is over.  He said there is little reason to believe that won’t be the case.  Interestingly enough, he said that the portion of the brain that’s now taken up by the tumor, isn’t functioning.  So whatever I’m operating like now is how I should be after all of this.

I will be awake during surgery, as the tumor is close to my motor band.  They will be asking me questions and testing motor skills while the tumor is being removed.  Honestly, the science nerd in me is absolutely fascinated by all of this!  I’m hoping they will take some great pictures of my brain while they’re in there.  Not many people have the opportunity to say they’ve been able to actually look inside of their own head!

I continue to feel no fear.  I believe with all of my heart it is Jesus who is beside me, walking with me through this adventure.  I feel the prayers from all of you, and cannot express how blessed I feel to have such a community of support.  Truth be told, the only time I cry is when I’m overcome with emotion from feeling so loved!

There is just one bit of crappy news…..Dr. Mueller told me not to touch up my roots!  He said it’s bad for my scalp and he’s gonna mess up my hair anyway LOL!

Lent begins tomorrow and I will be including all of you in my prayers.  Please continue to pray for me.  Pray that I remain faithful to God during my journey, that I remain patient when things are difficult and PLEASE pray for my husband John and children.

Life isn’t fair.

It never has been and it never will be, but my mother’s heart hurts for what my kids have had to deal with.  Nevertheless, they are STRONG and filled with faith, and they WILL get through this and be better people for it.

Until my next post, God Bless you all, and thanks for keeping up with me!