We’ve gotten through, in my opinion, the worst two months of the year.  I try very hard not to think that way, but lets face it;  Wisconsin winters are not fun.  January feels LONG and February is typically cold and very gray.  I must admit, the past two months haven’t been as awful as it could have been.

Medically, I’m still doing fine.  I decided because I only have 5 chemo cycles left I’d start counting down.  Today will be day one of cycle 5.  I will finish eating at 4:30 tonight, wait 2 hours, take what I call my “puke” pill (Ondansetron (Zofran) for those in the medical field), wait a half hour, then take my temodar (my oral chemo).  I will do that every night until Sunday which will be day 5.  Then I’m done until cycle 4.  I will more than likely wake up tomorrow with significant joint and muscle pain.  A side effect for me, not necessarily for everyone who takes this plus I’ll be tired.  And it’s worse now because I’m back into physical therapy!

I restarted PT yesterday and am back with Adam.  I saw Adam 2 years ago in the spring of 2021 when I was diagnosed with a labral hip tear and tendinosis on my left lower extremities.  I saw him again yesterday and he reassured me that it’s not surprising that I’m where I am right now.  He said that for every day one is in the hospital, it’s equivalent to 2 weeks of being inactive.  That means my 6 days in the ICU last year are like 3 months of doing nothing.  I think someone else may have told me this last year as well.  Anyway, Adam said it takes longer than 3 months to get back the three months of loss.  It’s not a surprise that almost a year out from surgery, I’m struggling.  Not to mention, I had this hip issue before I had the brain surgery! And the left side neglect that I had due to the surgery happens to be the same side as my hip issue.

All that to say, it’s going to be a bit of a process to get me back to “normal”.  But I’m starting and that’s what counts.  I have very specific goals I want to achieve so please pray for this:

1. Sit cross-legged on the ground (I’ve lost tons of flexibility)

2. Get up off the ground without needing to use my hands and something to hold on to

3. Go up and down the stairs carrying my laundry baskets

4. Carry Vivienne up and down the stairs without clinging to the railing

5. Put on clothes without having to sit down

6. Walk three miles without stopping.

7.  Fix my gait so it’s “normal”

Adam said every one of these is achievable, but the three miles won’t come until I’m able to build up endurance which will come after I rebuild my muscles.  Same with the gait.

Cancer is a constant battle, that’s for sure.  Just when you think you’ve learned everything there is to know about recovery, you realize something new.  But like I said many many posts ago I choose to view all of it as an opportunity of growth.  Growth in patience, primarily, and faith, empathy as well as all the physical aspects of growth and recovery.

PS – one of the pictures below was fascinating to me! It’s the cause of death over the course of one week in London in 1665. I went down the rabbit hole of articles online, regarding medieval death in London. It’s such interesting reading. Sad, but interesting.  The second pic is just a cute little poem about March that I found online.  Of course Vivienne is my other pic.  She was at our NB store yesterday and I was able to watch over her for longer than I ever have before.  This little flower face is what drives me to get up and get well.  I’m SO Looking forward to this summer when I can get on the ground easily and play with her and take her for long walks in her stroller.  The love I have for this child is the biggest motivator right now!